Dreaming of Peace
by agentrock
Summary: After the war, the pilots have gone their separate ways. They are all dealing with the after-effects of the war in their own way. How will Heero and Duo deal with their loneliness? Can they find solice in each other? WARNING: Eventual Shounen-ai
1. Chapter 1 Heero

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing nor its characters. They belong to their creators/publishers whoever they may be. I'm too lazy to look that information up myself at the moment. I am not making any profit from this.

Note: These first three chapters were actually written back in 2000 (and were posted on the GWML). I haven't written any more since. However, I recently came across these and I love it so much (and remember how other people loved it) that I wanted to post it here on even though it is unfinished. I will eventually finish it some day. However, it has been a long time since I've actually seen the show and I want to get myself reacquainted with it. The POV alternates between Heero and Duo by chapter.

Dreaming of Peace

by Agent Rock

[Heero]

The room is bright, moonlight scattered about. A cool breeze blows through the open window onto me, ruffling my hair a bit. Tonight I could not sleep for some reason or another. So, instead, I just sit here on the edge of my bed watching him sleep.

He looks so peaceful lying there on his bed. He rolls over and turns his back to me; the bright moonlight gleams off of it. A slight smile crawls across my face. I don't know why, but for some odd reason, I enjoy watching him sleep.

After the war had ended, it was very hard for all of us to simply get over it. We tried, really we did. It was hard to forget our training and to forget such a huge part of our lives. We had all gone out separate ways, but we soon came to realize that the best way to get over it all was by helping each other.

Quatre and Trowa had found comfort in each other. After two weeks after it had all ended, Quatre had searched for and found Trowa. It wasn't very hard at all since Quatre had known exactly where to look. Trowa was, of course, working at the circus with his sister. When Quatre had arrived, Catherine welcomed him. She understood that closeness that was between Quatre and Trowa. Trowa too had been happy to see him. After warm greetings and sitting down to a cup of tea, Quatre asked Trowa to come live with him in his house (a more appropriate word would be "mansion"). Trowa at first had been reluctant. He did not want to leave Catherine. Catherine, though, had understood it was for the best and insisted that he go. After assuring Trowa he could come visit anytime, Catherine convinced Trowa to leave. After packing his bags and as they were leaving, Quatre told Catherine that he would like to help sponsor the circus, much to Catherine's delight.

I smiled at that memory. It was just like Quatre to do something like that. And I, I had watched it all from the shadows, unbeknownst to the others. I had wanted to make sure everyone was okay. I was happy when I found that they were.

Now Wufei I had tried to find, truly I did, but it had all been in vain. Wufei is as good at hiding as I am. I had heard, though, that he was indeed happy. Supposedly, he joined forces with Sally Po. Keeping the justice together I'm sure. Yeah, he's happy alright.

As for Duo, I hadn't bothered searching him out. Somehow, I knew he'd find me. After the war, and everything had settled down, I basically did nothing but sit around all day and think about things. I thought about everything from the way the world was, and the way it is now, everything from fighting with my enemies, to enjoying myself amongst my friends (yes, I *had* enjoyed myself then). I was tormenting myself, I know that now. All I really wanted though was peace. Little did I know that Peace would show up on my doorstep.

It was on a day that I had been laying on my bed staring up at the ceiling while thinking of such things that there was a knock at my door. At first I hadn't heard it, but, as it got louder, it had awaken me from my musings. I had gotten up and opened the door. There, standing in front of me, was Duo. He flashed me one of his stupid grins and leapt onto me, embracing me. I was so surprised that I didn't even push him away. When he let go, he asked me if he could come in and did so without waiting for an answer. I shut the door and followed him inside, watching him studying my apartment. Eventually, I got him to sit down and fixed him a cup of tea. Duo went on to tell me about all that he had done since the war had ended. He had been keeping himself busy. "I guess I was the only one who was unhappy," I had thought to myself.

In the middle of his story though he sobered up and stopped talking. A slight sigh had escaped his lips. I knew something was wrong, so I asked him what was bothering him. He burst into tears, uncharacteristic of him, and leaned forward crying on my chest. He told me how alone he had felt after it had all ended. He tried to drown himself in his work, to forget the loneliness, but it just made him even more lonely. He said no one understood him but the Gundam pilots. He said that when the war ended, and everyone went their separate ways, it just tore him apart. He said he couldn't bear to be alone anymore.

That was when I did something that, at the time, I had not known why I had done it. I told Duo to stay with me, that he would be happier here. He looked up at me in surprise, tears still streaming down him face. Them he hugged me, squeezing so hard I could barely breathe, and said, "Thank you."

I'll never forget that night. That was when my life started changing, when that peace I had so longed for had arrived. Duo did something to me that nobody else could do, he made me happy, truly happy. Having Duo around was like a breath of fresh air. He was such a good friend to me, always so kind. It's no wonder I fell in love with him. Yes, I can admit that now. When I first started feeling that way I denied it. After all, it is considered "wrong" to love a person of the same sex. Eventually, though, the feelings had gotten so strong that I couldn't deny it any longer. So, I came to accept them. I never told Duo though; there's no way I could tell Duo. It would just disgust him, I'm sure. The last thing I needed was to lose my friend, to lose me peace, my happiness.

And so, it all brings me to now, sitting here at the edge of my bed, unable to sleep, staring at the boy I love. This was one of the few times I could do it without worrying that Duo would notice. Outside, the moon was beginning to set and I knew that within a half-hour the sun would begin to rise. I decided I should get some sleep in; it was unhealthy to be deprived of sleep. I leaned over Duo and kissed him on his forehead. Laying back down on my bed, I closed me eyes and started drifting off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2 Duo

[Duo]

My eyes fluttered open as the first rays of sunlight strew about the room. Stretching lazily, I sat up and blinked a few times, scanning the room. "It's still early," I concluded aloud as I swung two legs over the side of the bed and placed my feet on the floor. I looked over at Heero to find him sleeping, his chest slowly falling and rising with his breathing. I smile as I sit there and watch him. Heero looks so peaceful as he's sleeping, not that cold "I've got something up my ass" sort of look like everyone's so used to seeing. "Although," I whispered to myself, careful so as not to wake up Heero, "ever since the war ended, he seems.... different, not as cold." Not wanting to think about it much more, I decide to take a shower before Heero wakes up.

Standing up quietly, I head over to the bathroom, grabbing two towels on the way. I shut the door partially behind me and turn on the hot water splashing it a little until I'm sure it's hot enough, and turn on the cold water as well. Looking up in the mirror, I noticed that my hair was a little disheveled. "Good thing you're taking a shower, eh, Maxwell?" I say to myself and flash a little grin. All of a sudden, I decided I wanted a bath instead, and I reach inside the tub and plug the drain, pouring a little bubble bath under the flow of water. "Of course, what is a bath without bubbles?" I ask myself aloud again. I chuckle to myself then. God, I'm still talking even when nobody's around to listen.

When the water has reached the level I want, I pull off my boxers, which is all that was wearing, and step into the tub, slowly decending into the warm comfort of the water. Pulling the curtain closed, I lean back and close my eyes, relaxing in the serenity of the water. My thoughts trail off to the boy sleeping in the other room. After the war, I was so lonely. Everyone had left me, it seemed, and I was alone once more, like I was when I was a child. I had Hilde for awhile, but then she left to go be with her family. I didn't blame her though. I wanted to leave to go be with my family too. My family was, no *are*, the Gundam pilots. I wanted to be with them, but I didn't know how. They all went on with they're separate lives. I didn't want to be a tag-along.

Eventually though, the loneliness had gotten to me so much, that I didn't care if I *was* a tag-along. I just needed to be with somebody, needed my "family" so bad. I considered hitting up Quatre for an offer to stay with him, but I passed on that when I found out that Trowa was already staying with him. Although they probably wouldn't mind too much, I didn't feel like intruding on their lives together. I tried to find Wufei but was unable to find his exact location. I found out from Noin the one day, though, as she and Zechs were coming out of a little diner after just having lunch, that Wufei had joined the Preventers with Sally Po. Always fighting for justice, he is. A smile curves on my face at the memory of him. It's been some time since I've seen him. When I do though, I'll have to tease him more than usual to make up for lost time.

My thoughts trail back to where I had left off. With the other pilots already occupied, there was only one place left to go. Not that I minded, really, since it was the one place where I wanted to go the most. Heero wasn't too hard to find. He had no reason to be hiding anymore, so a quick talk with Relena had told me where he was. He was, of course, on Earth like the rest of the Gundam pilots. When I walked up to the door, I hesitated. What if he turned me away? I didn't know why then, but I was afraid of his rejection. The loneliness overtook me again, though, and I knocked before I could convince myself otherwise. There was no answer. I remember knocking again before I decided I should leave, seeing as no one was home. But, as I was about to turn and leave, I heard some movement within and knew that he was coming to answer the door. I braced myself for the confrontation, but, when he opened the door, I was so happy to see him again that I flung myself at him and hugged him, tightly. After that, I had tried to act like everything was alright, like I wasn't desperate, craving to be with somone, but Heero saw through it all. I should have known that he would; Heero always could. When he asked what was wrong I just broke down in tears, telling him how lonely I was. Instead of pushing me away and calling me "baka" like I thought he would, he just patted my head, rubbed my back and made me an offer I couldn't refuse. He said I could stay with him.

That was how I came to be here. I grab the bottle of shampoo and pour some into my hand. As I massaged it into my hair, my thoughts return. Ever since that day, I started noticing something that I had never noticed before. I found myself watching Heero a lot, just staring at him whether he was doing something interesting or just sitting in a chair. I noticed a growing attraction inside of me, something that felt so *right*. When I realized just what that attraction was, it kinda made me sick. To tell the truth, it did make me sick, literally. But, after a couple days of getting used to it, I realized it was something that couldn't be helped. I was falling for Heero, a person of the same sex. And, not just any person, but Heero is.... well, he's Heero, the perfect soldier, and someone who would most definitely be disgusted if he ever knew. Not that I would tell him even if I thought he *wouldn't* be disgusted. Oh no, there's no way I could live in the same *country* as him if he knew. Oh no, no way, no how. Besides, he doesn't need to know now does he?

I had actually contemplated just leaving so my feelings wouldn't cause any trouble in the future. But then I realized that Heero would just track me down and demand why I had just up and left. He'd know if I told him a lie, and if I told him the truth? Well, then that would defeat the purpose of my leaving. I can handle living here with him anyway. I can control myself, really.

I rinse out my hair and get out of the tub, toweling myself dry. After putting on my robe and wrapping my hair up in the other towel, I return to our bedroom again. Heero's still sleeping there. I decide to let him sleep, since I know he hasn't gotten much sleep lately and I really didn't feel like dealing with a cranky "you just woke me up, now you will die" Heero. So, I decide to make him breakfast. Whistling to myself I make my way to the kitchen. I throw on some eggs and some potatoes, and I pop in some toast. Ten minutes later, I can hear Heero's sheets rustling in the bedroom, and I knew he ahd woken up. He stumbles out to the kitchen while struggling to put his shirt on.

"What are you doing?" he asks somewhat coldly, still half asleep. It doesn't faze me one bit and I answer cheerfully, "Making breakfast!" slapping some eggs and some potatoes on the plate in front of Heero. He takes a bite and nods at me, continuing eating. I grin at him. He likes it! Happy, I sit down to my own plate and take a bite. I make a face; this food tastes like crap.


	3. Chapter 3 Heero

[Heero]

I watch as Duo makes several faces and utters several obscenities to the food that he made and just tasted. I take another bite. It's not that bad; I've had worse. Dr. J *cannot* cook.

"I dun know how you can eat this stuff," he said, "but I definitely am not taking any chances. This food could kill someone!" He made one final disgusted face before dumping the rest of his food in the garbage disposal. I just continued eating, watching him. He turns around and looks at me, shakes his head, and starts rummaging through the refrigerator.

While he was searching for some "edible" food, a message arrived on my laptop. Quickly leaving my seat at the table, I rush over to receive the message. With Duo leaning over my shoulder, I read it aloud:

Heero, Duo,

How are you two? It's been a long time.

Too long in fact. Trowa thinks so too. That is

why we decided we should have a little

get-together for the weekend, just the five Gundam

pilots. I think it will be fun! It would be great to

see everyone again. I hope you come!

Quatre

Attached to the message is the address to where Quatre and Trowa are currently staying. I look at Duo and could tell by the look on his face that he wants to go. I send a reply back:

Quatre,

We'll be there. Duo's looking forward to it.

Heero

"Pack your bags," I say to Duo as I stood up. He goes straight to the bedroom to do so. I head for the kitchen first to clean up the mess knowing full well that I would end up having to do it eventually anyway. "Baka," I mutter to myself, "Duo, you're such a slob."

"I heard that!" comes his reply from the bedroom. I smile to myself.

****

Duo booked the next flight while I was packing my bags. I'm actually glad that it will be a long ride. I'm hoping to get some sleep on our way there, since I didn't get much last night.

Duo is, of course, being his usual cheery self. "Wow," he says, "it's been awhile since we've been to space, ne Hee-chan?"

"Baka," I growl, "don't call me Hee-chan. And shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

"Can do!" he says, giving a mock-salute. He only lasts a minute before he starts babbling again...

****

A field...

A green field...

For miles around...

I feel so alone...

I'm searching....

Searching...

Searching for something...

But what...?

Peace...

I'm searching for peace...

Almost there...

I can feel it...

Just a little closer...

I can almost touch it...

I can almost see it...

A little closer...

"Heero..."

I can hear it...

Just a little closer

"Heero..."

Please...

Let me find my peace...

"Heero, wake up."

I blink a couple times as the image of Duo Maxwell focuses above me. "Duo?" I ask a little confused.

"Oi, Heero, wake up. We're almost there. You don't want to look like something the cat dragged in when you get there, now do you?" I sit up, yawning, rubbing my eyes. "Thanks," I say.

Duo starts babbling about 'What a great view it was' and how I 'shouldn't have slept the entire time. I wasn't listening to him though. I was thinking about my dream, the same dream that I've have almost every night since the war had ended. What did it all mean? Why could I never find what I was searching for? This bothered me most of all...

****

When we arrive at Quatre's mansion we receive a very happy welcome. Quatre runs straight for Duo and they embrace, talking and joking together. Trowa came at a somewhat slower rate than Quatre, but he was equally enthusiastic.

We smile and nod at each other in greeting then turn to watch the antics of our two friends.

"Where's Wufei? Isn't he coming?" Duo asked Quatre expectantly.

"He's coming," Quatre answered with a smile, "but not until tomorrow. Come inside, I have tea and cake ready."

"Oooh, cake!" Duo exclaimed as Quatre led him into the house, followed by me and Trowa.


End file.
